What we have to offer

---------

What do we really have to offer one another?

For we all are mere substitutes

For some other long lost glory

For some far forgotten dream

For that one everlasting light

And even though we are made in his image,

We do not share his being,

Just as we do not share in his eternal wisdom

Just as we do not share in his limitless power

And thus,

The only thing we ever really have to offer

Is a semblance of him who we were made for,

And hopefully

The chance to bring the ones we love

Closer to that joy

Which stretches out forever more,

Into the darkness which our finite minds leaves blank

But our faith simply knows as

That one eternal light.

---

Just drudged this up from my old poems...this one is from this summer, when I knew I'd be leaving soon.

-------------

Just lie with me now,

While you're still young and i'm still here,

And all that you care for is you,

And all that i care for is you,

Nobody's touched your crystal heart,

Like fresh-lain snow upon the ground,

And here in this moment,

You're still mine

Just lie with me now,

while we still can,

For soon I'll be whisked away into another place

And you'll remain here,

And you'll be growing and learning and living

I won't be the same when i come back,

I'll be changed and so will you,

But here in this moment,

You're still mine.

So just lie with me now,

Dreams and hopes, cares and worries can wait,

Just lie with me now and I'll hold you tight,

And everything will be alright,

And yes, as long as you're here, it'll be alright

So my dear, just stay with me here

Here in this moment,

You're still mine

-------------

--------------------------

I wonder that you
in all your wisdom
Created me
in all my weakness
Somehow to be
likened to you
A most unfair comparison
As if the fruit, itself, was the tree
Yet still you demand perfection
And who am I to refuse
Any explanation I make to say no,
Is only because I have been given the chance to say yes
By you
So in saying no I say that you are wrong
But saying you are wrong means that the logic that I used is wrong too
For you are the source of my reason
Thus, to say no to you is to say that the reason you gave me is defective
And in doing so, my reasoning to say no is also defective.
But operating under that premise is to accept that any reasoning I do is faulty
And thus not worth doing.
Yet still I reason...
Which means that no matter what I say, I do believe that reasoning is not faulty.

And thus, I cannot say no to you under the banner of reason

------------------

Someone very wise told me this today, and I think she's right.

"People never change, only the situations they place themselves in."

It's true. I'm constantly trying to change who I am to fit who I should be. Maybe the fight isn't that easy. Maybe I'm really meant to just change my environment, knowing my weaknesses, in order to overcome them. Maybe it's not about changing who I am, but rather, changing who I am surrounded by.

Maybe it's about being the best possible version of myself I could hope to be.

I don't know, but it's something to think about.

Sleepless nights...

Guess I really am living up to the title of this blog...its 2:48 in the morning
--------------

I follow you
Breathing softly the scent of warm lilac and the glow of the sun
Against my breath, fading
I wonder if this could be real,
That maybe in dreaming there could be truth
That somehow I could extend these shadows from the night
And into the day
Then this beautiful moment,
When the sun and the earth and you and I collide,
Could be more than just a shadow
But instead a living display
Against the beat of the past
Maybe we could be this way
If the night was no longer the night
And the day had never been the day.

-----------

---------

I miss the air, the sky, the night
The way the sun shone so bright
The warmth of the grass and your arm as we lay
Together, as one, in this way we stay

The passionate words exchanged in the quiet,
Solemn silence which brings us delight
And the simplest touch dispels all the grey
Which clouds our judgement, the cause of dismay

Time fades, dissaray
Words lost, Moments gone
Left in the remnants of what we were
Is the future of what we could be
But separate,
Is where we'll be.

---------------------------------

Just musing...

-------------------

Sometimes I look across a room, and think maybe it might be you
But memories remind me there
To never hope in what could be
But tread carefully
For love is deep,
And maybe it's too deep for me.

----------------

Tis not a dying sun...

-------------------------

I sit here, watching as the scarlet sun fades beneath the dim horizon,
Yea, that same sun which other poets have described as dying!
Yet to speak of such is heresy, for the sun is not dead, but merely lying in slumber,
Laying its head upon the crest of the Earth and the heart of Humanity

And did Solomon so set to divide a single child,
As have we when we watch the day transform into the night?
Lost in the loss of the light and the expanse of the pitch-black darkness,
Is that the night bears its own birth of a kind much similar to the day's.
A new beginning for many, in what is perceived as an end
That which is so obscurely hidden under the sun's encompassing glare
Becomes obvious when presented with the moon's solemn stare.

Sleep, oh, sleep, sweet sun!
And dream of the day, of the trees and the plants;
The night will bear its solemn task well,
And in darkness show what light couldn't tell.

Maybe it is human nature to fear that which we do not know
But I propose another reason for our flight,
That in dividing the brilliant day from the corruptible night,
We have created a monster of that which is simply devoid of light.
Should darkness truly disguise all that we fear, in a black shroud?
Or is it simply waiting to unravel the beauty that's yet to be found?

So sleep, sleep ever on, sweet sun,
And we shan't lament your simple passing
For night or day, true light or true grey
We will be here,
As ever,
Content in the lasting shade,
Of nature's simple countenance.

------------

Writing is my antidote but it's also my poison

--------------

I wonder if I returned there
Where the road met the sky
So that cloud and fog and rain and earth collide
Woven together in perfect harmony,
Where the body and the soul are one and the same
Would it still be the place I saw,
With you close by?
Dreaming of the edge of a cliff,
Doesn't take me back there the same way
As dreaming of you did
But still I feel the rush of the wind in my hair,
As I flew down interstate by interstate
And looked to see you, laying there
Sound asleep.
Did I ever deserve such a moment's reprieve?
Or was it my curse to be with you there,
For only a moment it was
And I still have a lifetime to be spent.
That I should regret the rest of my days
Because I knew what heaven and bliss was for a glimpse of time
Then watched it float away.

-----------------------

Another Poem

Just about winter.
-------
The wintry fog is upon us
The chill air to pierce through skin and bone,
And transfer unto us a little of its deference
A mist that whispers of deep dissent
that fall should be gone so quickly that
we must now face the cold again

The leaves all hang in carfeful balance,
But they float down, steadily, to reach the ground
Robbed, bereft of their preferred stations
and left to mourn the loss of oblation,
So far gone and so far fallen,
From higher ascents,
Of which they were begotten

And mankind too, walks upon a plain
Not quite the one he first embarked upon
But travels ownward in sight of that light
which once was seen, but now left forgotten
Like the fog of a dream once known
But now left unrealized by "awakening"
Yet still, steadily stumbling towards that field of origin
Man, unaware of how far fallen, but seeing the mountain
Of great ascent
Rises above himself constantly, though never reaching,
Remembers the world as it used to be,
Slowly,
Step by step,
Remembering and rediscovering
That life which is life and that light which is light
That truth which is truth
That which breathes and animates and perpetuates
Existence from the night.

------

2nd one

To go with that series...i'm going to do one every day for a while. here you go...

-----------

I felt you there,
In the soft silk of precious lace
Which fell carelessly against her face,
Cascading down onto her chest
Then billowing up, then pressing against
My beating heart, I felt you move
Inside of me, between us two

In every shared breathe, communion with you
In every passionate glance, fervor well due
In her I fell, and moved, and swelled
In you I shake, and turn, and dwell
And all the little things she brought to my life
All symbols of you, newly shown in full light

But why then should such as we, be sin?
The thoughts, racing, play again and again
My feeble mind unable to comprehend
How my future and purpose so solemnly collide
And bring it all crashing to an end
Now left crumbling, tumbling within

Oh Lord, whose love I never did doubt
Despite the torment and grief which struck me without
the touch of her softest hand.
Still I waited and suffered, and weathered the storm
Only to grow accustomed to a new norm
In which happiness and faith did not always coincide
I'm all choked up with desperation I cannot hide

Did my eyes deceive, did my heart not see
The wonder in her that allowed me to breathe
Like one living, though formerly dead
A little of heaven shown in the golden crown of her head?

And many a sleepless night has left me encumbered
By the spell of a thought which deep within me has slumbered
In the crevasses of my heart, where no light may reach
I begin to wonder of the love I hear preached
Does it exist, in this plane or the next?
Am I doomed to wander in lonely excess?
Am I meant for true love?
Even the happiest memories I'd like to forget,
Each painted fully with a tinge of regret.
I look up to heaven and trust in the Lord,
And in my deepest self I feel
The saddest heart indeed is pierced by a sword

I wonder if love is a once only thing
And having failed, hence shall never feel it again.

--------

Love Songs for a Savior

I'm thinking about starting a series of poems with this common theme...this one is currently unnamed. if you have any ideas for a title, please post them!

------------

It is here, in the shadows of the day
With the rise of the moon, with dark on its way
Present here, with the noisy bustle that comes
With the sounds of whispers, and spectors, and the buzz
of sweet silence, plodding along
Here that I find
The things only seen
By the inner eye of the mind.

Before the deep blue is eclipsed by the light
Of a shattering sun and of a thousand plights
When time would stand still, if not for the sway
Of a few thousand stars, kept in orbit, at bay
When most sleep but others wake
Like me,
They quietly wait,
For sweet, solemn nightbreak

Oh how i've lived and breathed the fresh blackened air,
My heart's delight found with all else laid bare
Tis here that I feel closeset to you, when eternity does lie
So easily reached, that I may simply open my eyes
To see you my Lord,
In all beauty regaled,
Who made every bright of the sky
So that I may look...and never question why.

Adam and Eve, who from Eden's ripened lands
saw and walked and spoke with you,
Would look jealousy upon us as we, in sweet repose, lie
For never did they feel the tenderness inside
Which stems from the root of a savior's stem
And blossoms endlessly from the bloom of a sinner,
Like myself,
Unfolding now to the light of your splendor.

Oh, serendipitous love which I did not deserve,
Yet carefully planned, with divine law observed
Leave not this place!
But instead, extend
The dark a little longer, so then
We may spend more time here,
And tomorrow may wait another day.

------

What I see from my window

-----
I look out into the streets and watch the people walking, heads neither high nor low, but staring infinitely forward, fixated upon an unchanging reality of the future placed upon them. They stare onwards, with neither excitement nor concern, but simply staring into the dark of a night which slowly descends, a haze which slowly clouds the human thought of all reason or purpose or meaning, a cloud which forms then falls then forms itself again. Staring into the night. Staring into the eternal darkness that stems from the indifference within their own hearts. Indifference calls the final bell for humanity, and as soon as the flickering light of passion fades, we shall all be left to live in the dark.

idk

Perhaps I'll travel this world alone,
Perhaps I'll make it, perhaps I won't
Perhaps I'll be what I was meant to be
Perhaps I'll be what I always have been

Maybe I'll make something beautiful
Maybe I don't know what beauty is
I can't fashion something I should never know
I could never make a stick from a stone

Purpose evades me still,
Like a whisp of a dream long forgotten
Like the tip of my tongue, but no answer spoken
Like the cold winter air that leaves me to crumble

Am I just standing to stand?
Breathing just to take another breath?
Could it be that I'm doing all for doing it,
Reaching out just to reach?
Could it be that there's something more,
Than fighting just to fight it,
Than feeling just to feel it,
Than living just to live it?

Dreams of a long ago past,
When purpose was present in each and every strand
Of your perfect hair, your perfect eyes, sublime
And reason was never the source of my rhyme
But passion and joy, with no sense, abound
And in you, my serenity was found.

Perfect peace in you, where others caused strife
Perfect trust in you, where else to trust was to lie
Perfect harmony and accord, where chaos was laden
Perfect happiness before I knew happiness to be.

========================================

A Poem about smoking

Thank God for a cigar...lol

--------

Smoke is the easiest way to forget,
Filling me where I was never filled
Replacing the empty spaces with something
Even if its something painful
Its something in t least

The embers in it emblazon
the embers within me
The slow puff and drawl
As I breathe in and I breathe out
Until a tip of ash falls off
And a new bit begins to form again

A fire burns, small but steady
Still there, knowing its time is up
But still burning, not yet ready to give in
It fills my lungs and my throat
Cresting into my chest then down below
fills everything that makes me, well,m me
It leaves me filled without

My throat tightens,
A bit of smoke and a bit of remorse
But its harder to feel t regret now
The smoke has done its course,
So that to feel is no longer an option
But to breathe and to exhale
To suck in then to blow out,
I feel it leaving me for now
Though I'm sure it will come again

Tinge of bitterness and tinge of despair,
But not so bad that I cannot stand
I've felt this once and i'll feel it again
Breathe in, breathe out, then extend
Get back up where I left off
Brush it off and stand back up
let a puff out, then inhale in
back to sitting on the same old bench again

Another tip falls to the ground,
A little bit lost but so much found
what you teach me, taught me, here
I'll look back someday, and remember it
But for now I'll breathe in and breathe out
And let smoke fill me where I was without

---------

and it would seem that now I am truly alone in this city

it's not that I'm desperate to find somebody,

it's just that I'm desperate to forget about you.

so don't assume what you don't know.

because you think you can understand me

And maybe sometimes you do

but never the deepest part

no never the deepest part

I hide that from you

just another poem

----------

I wished away
all things of you
I closed my eyes
to hide the truth
My heart that yearns
for solace there
You alone can ease
the pain it bears

Atop a cliff
I've always stood
Never falling,
but hanging still
You were a mist
I saw within
But now you're gone
Alone again

Dreams stood still,
where you took place
Now you were gone
So I replaced
That part of me
filled with parts of you
with little bits
of dreams renewed

But every dream,
I dreamed away
As shadows fade
By the end of days
And everything
I found in me
Just brought me back
To loving you

So still I linger,
To deep remorse
For rather sadness
then false delight
And if you'd choose
To walk with me
My silence shan't
be such a plight

-----

Ponderings

just some things i've been thinking of
----

If time casts a shade upon us all,
Then do not we choose to rise or to fall?
To choose the angle of our descent, or
If heaven convince, the chance to ascend?
If sorrow is but only one stepping stone,
Like love, and joy, but standing alone
If dreaming is so like the day,
Then shan't we consider that it might be the same?

Foolhardy hearts, believe what we see
But then question what we truly believe
For are our eyes so much more real
Than the air we breathe or the things we feel?
Sight is a sense, and that's all it will be
But love and passion transcend you and me
Enveloping all in a cosmic desire
Brandishing love, let all else to the fire
---------

The Rose

My lit class requires a weekly writing entry...I'm doing poetry for my entries, and in case you didn't notice, this also an example of "heroic couplets" (though I believe my meter is probably often off...whatever). Anyway, its just for my own writing, but I thought I'd share
----------

A womanly touch is what this heart needs
Rapt in attention it longingly pleads
For a fire to burn, and never go out
But burn through the night with beauty throughout

Winter will come with icy frost anew
Old leaves shaking off the last of their dew
A sad mournfail wail will come from the north
A longing desire becomes its lone worth

Paper does burn, but too often it fades
To dry yellow crisps, worn ancient displays
Of once what was true and once what was right
Of that lovely muse, of that one delight

Can we rise above our ashen remains?
True love, it would seem, is filled with refrains
A pause in the beat can make wondrous address
Only without, do we see that we miss
Passageways of the heart I've discovered
Once lain hidden and bare, now uncovered
The words I've sought, and still grasping for here,
Now known much deeper and now much more clear
My love kept secret, true love I suppose
Now left unfolding, unearthing a rose.

-----------

fun, fun, fun

True Love's Remorse/Ascent

A poem i wrote...duh. called "true love's remorse/ascent"

===========

If I could compile a list of regrets
Of all the times I"ve seen rights but made lefts
A lifetime of decisions to be made
But only a glimpse of wisdom derived
And always at a precipice of my own accord
I feel like falling is, in itself, my just reward

Desperate times and desperate measures
Collide to make a terrible remonstrance
The excuses of our ancestors null and void
For our own hearts show the truth in full light
Can we fill the cast of what is just and is right?

Each life to be lived for some reason well known
That in us, one might see, true beauty shown
For a life lived in the pursuit of beauty is well spent
In hours and minutes and seconds recompense
For I say, every moment given to true love's embrace
Shall be multiplied tenfold with God's simplest grace

So without regret I look into the fire,
No longer fascinated with the dark of my own shadow
No longer content to be one with the night
No longer meant to carry the weight of my plight
So without caution I move with the wind
And give way to passion and let true love in
I'll let the tempest within me go
And live in the light with only beauty to show
And that will be enough for me

----------

tell me what you think...unless you're my mom. (if you really want to...email me. or something)

The other day we were studying Alexander Pope and his particular literary style; the "heroic" couplet. Pope used a form of iambic pentameter with ten syllables - five stressed, five unstressed - and every couplet rhyming at the end. I decided I'd have fun and do my own...so here you go. It's untitled

"Untitled"

--------------
If love be the mount of greatest ascent
Rather would dreaming be readily spent
Dreams with rhythm and dreams which always speak
Of the kind of love that makes knees go weak.

Love be the truest test of fortitude
Of always dealing in uncertitudes
The sweet romance that makes you scream and shout
Than claim that you would rather live without

A miracle of impossible means
To meet a woman who says what she means
Layers unfold like petals of a rose
But so do thorns, and like the sharpest prose
They leave you wounded in the deepest part
Straight through the skin, only piercing the heart

Yet still true beauty we will always seek,
In the darkest places and weathered peak
In the shadows and ghosts of lovers past
In the fresh lain snow and the summer's last
But what we find isn't what we have dreamed
For the beauty within isn't easily gleaned.


--------------------------------------------------------------------

It was kind of a random part to stop at, but I was done. lol. hope if anyone reads this, they enjoy it

I wish you would

New song I wrote today...if you want the recording, just request it. Here are the lyrics...

---------

It's hard to say goodbye after all this time,
Hard to look you in the eyes
Where the feeling went, i don't really know
But now you say its time to go,
So here I am, gone

But I wish you would
Look in the mirror, maybe then you'd see clearer
Who you are and who you are with me
I wish you would,
Look in the mirror, maybe then you'd see clearer
The way we are the way we were
See the "you" you want to be
With me

I can't believe it ends this way
I'm left without a word to say
the storm I feel brewing inside
the ways I failed yet still I tried
to bring you some sort of peace
Peace it seems, will have to wait

But I wish you would
Look in the mirror, maybe then you'd see clearer
Who you are and who you are with me
I wish you would,
Look in the mirror, maybe then you'd see clearer
The way we are the weay we were
See the "you" you want to be
With me

It doesn't happen twice,
The times we've shared will not be repeated
And when you're staring out over a crystal sea
You'll always think of me

But I wish you would,
Look in the mirror, maybe then you'd see clearer
Who you are and who you are with me
I wish you would
Look in the mirror, maybe then you'd see cleareer
The way we are, the way we were
See the "you" you want to be
with me

It's sad to see
That all things must come to an end
Why must this be another cliche,
You and me never liked happy endings,
You and me both liked a storm
And I guess that's what we got

But I wish you would,
Look in the mirror, maybe then you'd see clearer
who you are who you are with me
I wish you would
Look in the mirror, maybe you'd see clearer
The way we are, the way we were
See the "you" you want to be
With me

So look in the mirror,
Tell me what you see
A beautiful garden and a peach tree
A smiling face and a beat up jeep
A single night you could never leave
A voice, whispering to you, as you sleep.

-------

Goodbye Silverton

(note the person in the picture is not me, but I basically did the same thing...I haven't uploaded my pictures yet, but I have a very similar one at the exact same spot)

A song I wrote while in Colorado...just recorded it, its rough, but okay sounding. For you all to listen to and (hopefully) enjoy

Silverton is a small town in the valley between two mountains we drove over (literally...we started on the bottom on both and drove to the top, then back down).
-------

Song: http://www.zshare.net/download/787520203fea00d5/

The sun's setting on Colorado,
A new day gone to pass
I'm singing to the radio
Wishing it was you instead, I guess

The mountain's climbing higher,
The clouds all moving by so fast
I'm rising higher than falling back
Back into the valley again

Goodbye, goodbye Silverton
Goodbye, goodbye the day
I say
Goodbye, goodbye good weather
Goodbye, goodbye my darling day

I see the light all fading
See it all turn to grey
See the landslide coming down,
See it all just slide away

Goodbye, goodbye Silverton
Goodbye, goodbye the day
I say
Goodbye, goodbye good weather
Goodbye, goodbye my darling day

The window's down and I'm feeling
The breath of winter on the glass
A frosty whisper, beckoning
Makes me long for summer air

Goodbye, goodbye Silverton
Goodbye, goodbye the day
I say
Goodbye, goodbye good weather
Goodbye, goodbye my darling day

I say
Goodbye to dreaming
Goodbye to fall
Goodbye to memories
Goodbye to the girl who said goodbye to me

Goodbye, goodbye Silverton
Goodbye, goodbye the day
I say
Goodbye, goodbye good weather
Goodbye, goodbye my darling day

---------

Landslide by Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac)

I am leaving for Colorado on friday, and in honor of my going there, i have decided to post the lyrics to "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks. This was written in Aspen, Colorado, when she was going through a major shift in her life...just as I am and will be in the next few weeks. This trip for me is a chance to find out a little of who I am, a little of who I want to be, and alot of what my life is all about...so anyway, here's the song.

"Landslide"

I took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Till the landslide brought it down

oh, mirror in the sky - what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
I don't know, I don't know

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
Because I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, even children get older
And I'm getting older, too

So, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
The landslide will bring it down

--------
The Song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhNrrrCCTdA
--------

Hmm...

Tonight's an interesting night.

Tonight is an amazing night.

And why?

Cause I have nothing to say.

lol okay thats not entirely true, or else I wouldn't be posting. But tonight i'm content with how things are, and even if that feeling just last for another hour then I will be happy to have spent that hour in peace even if I must face another day of chaos. I will take pride and joy in these small moments of happiness, even if the rest of my life is filled with distraction and confusion.

In the song "nobody" by five for fighting, it says,
"Though endings are never ever happy, its the happy moments along the way, that in the end make it ok."

It's kind of a depressing line, but at the same time, it gives hope and understanding of what life is about. Life is a struggle, simply because we are human beings and WE ARE MADE FOR DRAMA. Literally...that's what original sin is about... a constant struggle between right and wrong, good and evil, life and death. The simple truth is that we must relish and take pride in the moments of goodness and, when the bad times come, roll with them. Grin and bear it, for love of Christ and for love of the truth.

So I'm going to enjoy this and grow, continually closer to Christ and to his will for me, and hope that I can just weather the storms that pass along the way.

God Bless,
Sleepless

My Promise

A New Song I wrote...and composed...at 2:16 in the morning. The audio is very rough (i made a few mistakes), but hey, I like it anyway...

Song Download Link:

http://www.zshare.net/download/7846883671545121/
---
My Promise -

You've carefully plastered
the walls into your heart
with steel and iron stitchings
so you'll never fall apart
But I know better
cause I know you
and i know all the lies you use
to hide behind the truth

Throw the doors wide open,
And let me in
You won't drown if I just hold you up
We'll tread water together
forever, its true
this is my promise to you

The path's ever widening,
The steps already tread
The passion that you're feeling
The source of all your dread
Don't turn away
All you need is here
And all you're looking for you see
Is what's always been with me

Throw the doors wide open,
And let me in
You won't drown if I just hold you up
We'll tread water together
Forever, its true
This is my promise to you

you won't drown if i just hold you up
I would never let you fall,
I would never let you go
I would never let you drown

Throw the doors wide open,
And let me in
You won't drown if I just hold you up
We'll tread water together
forever, its true
this is my promise to you

this is my promise to you

The Things i Miss

***********************************************************************************************
I miss simplicity and hate duplicity
I miss sunshine on a rainy day, and hate these clouds ruining a perfect day
I miss trusting and hate losing it
I miss knowing what is real and hate that I'm just another hamster on the wheel.

***********************************************************************************************

Top Ten "Authentic" Love Songs

There are many aspects that make a great love song. Great lyrics, great music that sets a tone, and great vocals can make any love song special. However, what truly sets a love song apart from any other song is the emotion behind it. If a singer truly feels the words they are saying and feels the music in a very personal sense, a great love song becomes an amazing love song. This is a tribute to the top 10 songs I feel are the most "authentic"; the ones where the singers really meant every word they said, and you can tell, felt it to their core.

10) We Belong - Pat Benetar

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/pat+benatar/we+belong_20104904.html

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxZInIyOBXk



When you get a song with such great lyrics, it would be an absolute shame for the artist to then follow them up with weak or lethargic vocals. Luckily, Pat Benetar lives up to the billing, singing straight from the heart that cuts right to the core of a relationship. The refrain especially is felt, so that one cannot help but think about their own romances, either past or present. It is a universal complication of dating that we often are left to fight to keep it all together, and this song embodies that struggle within both our heart and that of our partner.

9) Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/poison/every+rose+has+its+thorn_20109974.html


Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFIKPGVTwEY



If you just listen to the recording, you can easily hear the deep breath he takes before starting the song. That one act, breathing in, that one sigh, becomes the inspiration behind the rest of the song. Every languishing word, every lamenting thought, centers around that idea of an imperfect reality. A slight blemish on a beautiful thing. Poison may not have contributed much to music as a whole, but this song singularly makes its mark on the listener with its raw emotion and simple lyrics.

8) You Don't Bring Me Flowers - Barbara Streisand

Lyrics:http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/barbra+streisand/you+dont+bring+me+flowers_20012696.html

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj10EzNKA2M


Combined with the starpower of Neil Daimond added to Barbara's already huge following, this song was destined to be an instant hit. However, it was much more than a hit; it was the embodiment of both beauty and sadness, tragedy and recollection, true love and true despair.
Such an awesome combination of both the greatest and the worst of human emotion cannot be taken without a significant impact being made.


Note: I prefer the recorded version then the live video I've posted here. It should be easy enough to look up in any search engine.

7) Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/g/goo+goo+dolls/iris_20061324.html

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpO9MSEWpxc

Okay so the movie wasn't that great...I mean, angel falls in love with girl who he's been staring at for the last couple of weeks...kinda creepy right? However, the one gem that comes from this is the song "Iris" which has become one of the top rock songs and love ballads of the 90's. Though its taken from the viewpoint of an angel, even mere humans like ourselves can associate with every line. I mean...who doesn't get "And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand." Anyway, the song is sung with such emotion that is only done by Goo Goo Dolls that it earned its way on this list.

6) I Need Love - LL Cool J

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/l/ll+cool+j/i+need+love_20081043.html

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEUX-HYRtUA

A rapper admitting he needs love? and not just the bitches and hoes? (sorry..."malibu's most wanted" reference there, if you don't understand, watch the movie its great). Anyway, all kidding aside, such brutal honesty with oneself isn't seen very often in the music scene, especially in a song itself. It can be a little cheesy, but come on, if the guy's willing to end his song with "I'll be waiting...I love you" you know that he's putting himself out there.

5) I'll Be - Edwin McCain

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/e/edwin+mccain/ill+be_10094377.html

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2YZYjjonCg


Alright, so this is flat out one of the best love songs ever written, much less sung. Come on, what girl does not want to hear that no matter what, you'll be there? Not to mention the fact that it is sung so much from the heart that you can't help but know he's being sincere. I picked this video, which is a live version and not the actual recording, because he shows even more of his sincerity and sheer emotion for the song. if you'd rather listen to the recorded version, its great too.

4) Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Taylor

Lyrics:http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/bonnie+tyler/total+eclipse+of+the+heart_20022769.html

Video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840B27zYfOk

A quirky, cool song that technically includes two or three singers, but is dominated by bonnie tyler's vibrant voice. Her singing chills you, to the point where you wonder where such feeling and emotion could be coming from. There are certain songs that can only be described as "haunting" and this is one of them.

3) Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper

Lyrics:http://www.lyricsfreak.com/c/cyndi+lauper/time+after+time_20035202.html

Video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdQY7BusJNU

The music video is pretty weird, and starts out with an interesting scene. When the song kicks in though, you know that its heartfelt and true to what a real love song should sound like. The whole song is great, but especially the last repetition of "time after time" is phenomenal. Great song all together.

2) Faithfully - Journey

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/journey/faithfully_20075719.html

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVs4jDL-JBo

What a great song, what great lyrics, and what a great sound! The piano itself is filled with emotion, so much that you're already impacted by the first stanza, much less the rest of the song! Though he declares that "loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be" he also points out "I get the joy of rediscovering you". The ending to the song culminates with an emotional display not often seen, and definately places this song as one of the most authentic love songs in music.

1) I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

Lyrics:http://www.lyricsfreak.com/w/whitney+houston/i+will+always+love+you_20146353.html

Video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGC003Xz3CY

I've said alot in this post...maybe too much. Every single one of these songs means a little something to someone, and a lot of something to me. I think that this song speaks for itself, so I have nothing else to say.









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Concerning Indifference

One of the greatest threats posed to the Catholic Church, and in a much grander sense, humanity today is a startling and unsettling character of indifference within our world.

Just think about that. Indifference has become a norm, while earnest devotion and zeal for the truth has become the exception. A wise man is no longer an admired man, but instead, a despised man. A fun-loving simpleton who lives off of booze and women becomes the hero of any party, and the object of every teenager's admiration.

If one honestly seeks the truth, he is either met with sarcastic belittlement (think "dude, that's way too heavy" or "wow, who cares? that's morbid') or even worse, indifference ("whatever you like man, if that's what you're into). The truth is no longer the goal, but rather, a hindrance to living life as it was meant to be lived out "freely and without any semblance of guilt or regret".

One time in the church's history has a similar indifference come about; however, while now this indifference comes from a complete separation of church from state, and similarily, church from personal life, the church's prior experience of widespread indifference came during its period of greatest control and rule; the Middle Ages (Dark Ages as so named by historians, though that is debatable).

During the "Dark" Ages (1200-1450 approximately), the Church had risen to a point of complete dominion over state affairs. The Pope, not the king of England or Spain or France, was the most powerful figure of Europe, and he weilded that power with all the regality and wealth that befitted a person of his noble stature. However, in many ways this was abused, though I will not go into detail. The important thing to remember is that during this time the faith, which had been paved and borne by the blood and struggle of the early martyrs, was now left stagnant and left to shrivel up, until only a few drops of zeal was left amidst what used to be lakes and oceans of it.

The true faith, which consists of sincere love and devotion for Christ combined with worship of the truth and the acquisition of it, was left to dry out because the faith was so secure in its own right. Protocols of politics and economics overtook practices of selflessness and piety. The priesthood itself became a right of passage into higher ranks, rather than a chance to serve and to empty oneself so that Christ's love may use one as a conduit to others.

With this drying out and loss of genuine zeal for the faith, the lifeblood of the Church, the Church itself began to stray from its purpose and mission. It began to work for the rich, which in turn worked for it, so that the cycle of giving left out the very group it was supposed to protect the most; the common people. Thus, the common people soon lost their interest. If one wonders why so many peasants and lower-middle class people took up the Protestant way so readily, it is partly because the ways of the Catholic church had failed to serve their interests.

Indifference then became the cause of Catholicism's greatest loss in history, for the number of souls who were/have been lost, or at least had to find a different route to redemption, due to the schisms that were to follow (both the Great Schism and the Protestant Reformation) is incalculable. Indifference, which was fed because the Church had become too controlling and too bureacratic, in a word, too worldly. By cramming the practice (or maybe the illusion?) of faith into the world's collective throat, they ended up taking the very faith out at the same time, and replacing it with a dry and lifeless thing. Without Love.

Indifference today is the exact opposite, for while the original stemmed from the overextension and mismanaged presentation of the Church (it being too materialistic), the current indifference is bred from a complete separation from the Church. After church was separated from state in the late 1700s and early 1800s acround the world, it was easy to see that one's job, then one's personal life, would be soon to follow.

It's very easy to work in selective "boxes" of reality. For instance, the self you portray at school/work is very different from the self you may portray at home. Around your friends, you usually are alot less critical than with your family (especially siblings). With each person, with each group, you have different expectations and thus, a different attitude. Only a truly authentic person escapes these boxes and creates an all around being throughout...a person that is who they are to the core, regardless of the situation.

Thus, our culture today is filled with "box" Catholics, and "box" christians. This is truly just another sign of indifference, for if one felt true love and enthusiasm for their faith, they would see no reason for boxes. In fact, they would resent this box world, because they would realize that while we are all contained within our boxes, the truth can no longer resound. If we believe in one thing in Church, but then another thing when we're with friends, then that doesn't show true belief, that shows true duplicity, and a genuine falsehood (if such a contradiction exists, it is in such a life). We cannot find truth when we sanction our faith off into one corner of our lives, but do not allow it to flow into every aspect of our lives.

Indifference nowadays is not caused by too much church or practice, but rather, not enough. Even when it is practiced, its sanctioned off to sundays, or personal prayer. It has become a habit of ours to very readily separate our everyday life from our spiritual life, so much that we become two different people. This duplicity can only hurt us in the end.

How do we combat such indifference? It's a difficult task, and one that may very well be impossible without divine intervention. The problem isn't the same as our past, for in the past people were still able to use the power of logic to fight and combat enemies of the faith. Great writers such as St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Augustine, and St. Thomas More, used logic to fight their battles with the aid of love for both the truth and the faith.

However, how do you combat something that doesn't use logic as its basis, but rather, pure animalistic sense? Whether it be pleasure or science that a man uses as its primary motivation, it is very difficult to appeal either of them to a higher truth. When one only believes what his heart feels (emotion) or what his eye sees (science), how can one believe in something so far beyond simple observation?

I think its possible to fight indifference, but in the end, it must be a combination of both our own personal effort and Christ acting through us. We are meant to be conduits, not sparkplugs. We only initiate the action, but what Christ chooses to flow through us will determine whether we are successful in our endeavors to bring others to the truth...his truth, in case we ever get proud enough to start thinking that we are the ones to be credited.

Little miracles together with little actions everyday, is the solution to bringing a genuine love for the faith back to humanity. And when we provide good examples to the world around us, we ultimately serve the faith better than any amount of motivational speaking or profound writing.

God Bless,
Sleepless

This is who "I" Am

The Man I Am -

I won't be the guy
Who is loved by the masses,
No trumpets, no sound to my arrival
Just a shrug and an innocent look,
A passing glance to my survival

I won't be the guy
Who woos all the lovers
with a song and a ballad
I'll be the one in the corner,
Singing only for myself

And I won't be the guy,
Who in the winter cold,
Warms himself at other's expense
While the women do the work
And the children starve at their feet

I won't be the guy
who comes home to an empty home
who drinks till there's nothing left to drink
who lives to an empty tune
I won't be the guy
who's love is tempered by temptation
who's heart is crippled by distractions
who's wlil is wasted on mistaken attractions

I'll be the guy,
who is known to a few and loved by a couple
who is hidden from palaces, but welcomed by the doorstep
who is overlooked by women, but enchanting to one woman
who is not known in books, yet knows the books by heart
I'll be the guy,
who lives in this world, but not of it

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Why Every Man should love Taylor Swift - For Kara

When I go on my theory of why every man loves (or at least should love) taylor swift, I am often met with protest. "But Nicky," girls say," she can't even sing!" or "Nicky, she may have (or may not have as I must remind you) ripped off many of her lyrics from other artists." Finally, the most consistent complaint I get is, "But Nicky...she's so cheesy and melodramatic" (note that these are coming from girls). While these are good (if unfounded) arguments, I still find that men naturally are gravitated towards liking taylor swift, the way peanut butter is naturally compelled to jelly, or how peas just naturally fit in a pod. it just works!

But for you doubters, here are just a few reasons why its true:

1) She is CUTE - not slutty, not obnoxiously hot, not jaw-on-the-floor and howling like wily coyote. I mean, look at this completely unposed for, completely candid, picture of her at school:

Look at that! Curly hair, simple dress, barefoot! She has two things; first, she seems like she could be the typical girl next door, your average down to earth, lovable girl. At the same time though, she also reminds us of the classic beauties of the past; audrey hepburn, meg ryan, janet jackson (okay just making sure you were still paying attention), and barbara streisand, to name a few.

2) Her lyrics - oh come on, no one can look at a taylor swift song and be like "damn, i've never felt that way before." of course you've felt that way! I mean, let's look at the themes of two of her top songs;

You Belong with Me - girl next door, best friend of a guy who doesn't see her as more of a friend, of course he's dating the hot cheerleader girl. Every, and I mean EVERY girl can understand this...but even us guys can too. Unless you're one of those hot, popular guys (which if you are, then you make up .01% of all males in the world) then you've probably had a female friend (usually attractive, funny, charming, cute, whatever) who you adore but can't tell because it would ruin your friendship and, let's be honest, you're not her "type",

Tim McGraw - the end of a relationship, and you're left devastated(September saw a month of tears, and thankin' God that you weren't here, to see me like that). in the end you hold on to that one memory, and you hope that they remember you fondly too.

Those are just two of her songs, but take any one of her songs and its almost universally applicable.

3) She's Smart! (and driven)
In case you were getting under the impression that she's just a ditsy girl who likes to sing about her adolescent life, know that she also has a deeper side to her. Take the following excerpt from wikipedia (which, as most of us know, is a completely authoritative and trusted source in all teenage and young adult circles, if not in actual academic circles);

"When she was twelve years old, she devoted an entire summer to writing a 350 page novel, which remains unpublished"

Twelve years old! As a writer who has still yet to finish his own fully-finished book, I appreciate the amount of devotion and work it takes to get such an accomplishment. Let's do the math:

1 Summer = 2 1/2 months
2 1/2 months = approximately 75 days
350 pages (at 275 words per page) = 96, 250 words
96,250 words/75 days = 1283 words per day for 2 and a half months!

And in case you didn't realize, thats a significant amount, especially for a 12 year old.

4) She's goofy!

One of the most important aspects in any potential partner, male or female, is the ability to laugh at themself and not take themselves too seriously. To show this point, I give you the following link to her song "Thug Story"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz10BUCP2dE

5) Finally...she wants to do what you want to do!

And this is a big thing for us guys. She doesn't want to go shopping that much, or go do girl-things. She's interested in what you're interested in! For instance she'll :

Get your humor *gasp* !!! - (You belong with me) "Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do"
Just chill and listen to music with you - (You belong with me) "I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night, I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like."
Go to All Your Games - (You belong with me) "I'm on the bleachers"
Dance with you, regardless of the weather and regardless of the clothing she is wearing - (Fearless) "And I don't know why, but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress"
Sneak Out with you (when your momma don't know) - (Our song) "Sneakin' out late tappin on your window"
Ride shotgun with her hair undone (which is extremely attractive/cute) - (Our Song) "I was riding shotgun with my hair undone"
Write You A Song! - (Hey Stephen) "but would they write a song for you"

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Thus, I rest my case. For all intents and purposes, in every way, manner, shape, or form...every man should love Taylor Swift.