What we have to offer

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What do we really have to offer one another?

For we all are mere substitutes

For some other long lost glory

For some far forgotten dream

For that one everlasting light

And even though we are made in his image,

We do not share his being,

Just as we do not share in his eternal wisdom

Just as we do not share in his limitless power

And thus,

The only thing we ever really have to offer

Is a semblance of him who we were made for,

And hopefully

The chance to bring the ones we love

Closer to that joy

Which stretches out forever more,

Into the darkness which our finite minds leaves blank

But our faith simply knows as

That one eternal light.

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Just drudged this up from my old poems...this one is from this summer, when I knew I'd be leaving soon.

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Just lie with me now,

While you're still young and i'm still here,

And all that you care for is you,

And all that i care for is you,

Nobody's touched your crystal heart,

Like fresh-lain snow upon the ground,

And here in this moment,

You're still mine

Just lie with me now,

while we still can,

For soon I'll be whisked away into another place

And you'll remain here,

And you'll be growing and learning and living

I won't be the same when i come back,

I'll be changed and so will you,

But here in this moment,

You're still mine.

So just lie with me now,

Dreams and hopes, cares and worries can wait,

Just lie with me now and I'll hold you tight,

And everything will be alright,

And yes, as long as you're here, it'll be alright

So my dear, just stay with me here

Here in this moment,

You're still mine

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I wonder that you
in all your wisdom
Created me
in all my weakness
Somehow to be
likened to you
A most unfair comparison
As if the fruit, itself, was the tree
Yet still you demand perfection
And who am I to refuse
Any explanation I make to say no,
Is only because I have been given the chance to say yes
By you
So in saying no I say that you are wrong
But saying you are wrong means that the logic that I used is wrong too
For you are the source of my reason
Thus, to say no to you is to say that the reason you gave me is defective
And in doing so, my reasoning to say no is also defective.
But operating under that premise is to accept that any reasoning I do is faulty
And thus not worth doing.
Yet still I reason...
Which means that no matter what I say, I do believe that reasoning is not faulty.

And thus, I cannot say no to you under the banner of reason

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Someone very wise told me this today, and I think she's right.

"People never change, only the situations they place themselves in."

It's true. I'm constantly trying to change who I am to fit who I should be. Maybe the fight isn't that easy. Maybe I'm really meant to just change my environment, knowing my weaknesses, in order to overcome them. Maybe it's not about changing who I am, but rather, changing who I am surrounded by.

Maybe it's about being the best possible version of myself I could hope to be.

I don't know, but it's something to think about.

Sleepless nights...

Guess I really am living up to the title of this blog...its 2:48 in the morning
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I follow you
Breathing softly the scent of warm lilac and the glow of the sun
Against my breath, fading
I wonder if this could be real,
That maybe in dreaming there could be truth
That somehow I could extend these shadows from the night
And into the day
Then this beautiful moment,
When the sun and the earth and you and I collide,
Could be more than just a shadow
But instead a living display
Against the beat of the past
Maybe we could be this way
If the night was no longer the night
And the day had never been the day.

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