Memories all turn to grey

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I'm feeling nostalgic again,
which just goes to show
that even as your future is brightest
the past never falls far behind

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Been a while...

Been a while since I posted on this - was just looking through some old songs that I wrote a while back and since I never posted them, thought I'd put one of them up here.

Iris

Sad blue eyes sit on a wooden bench

Lookin' out on a sea of past regrets

Well I can't help but say

That things aren't all this way

You're much more than meets the eye,

You're much more than meets the eye,

With you I will always find

You're much more than meets the eye

Paper thin hearts are all we can give,

Meant to be crushed yet we jump back in

This mask is dissolving,

The flower unfolding

The heart left wide open beneath the skin

You're much more than meets the eye,

You're much more than meets the eye,

With you I will always find

You're much more than meets the eye

Feeling this way has its certain risks,

but I'd risk the world for a single kiss

You're much more than meets the eye,

You're much more than meets the eye,

With you I will always find

You're much more than meets the eye

and I am here,

I've always been here

Always been here

I've always been...here

Seeing You

----

I close my eyes,
Imagining the crisp air,
As you instead,
Well rather,
Your breath softly playing against my face
I think of it,
And see you here

I do not speak,
Instead listening,
To the riverbed far away
The water sweetly gushing over the rocks,
like sweet, solemn words in the silence
I think of it,
And hear you here

Every windswept thought of you,
Every heartfelt glance against
The dark of the midnight sky
I think of you and wonder then
That if you were to look up too
Would you see me, as I see you?

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Winter Cold

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The winter feels longer this year,
The cold a little more biting
The snow a little less white

My breathing is a little more ragged
My heart beating a little faster
My eyes a little more tired
My hands a little less worn

My chest's a little tighter,
But perhaps it's always been
And happiness was just a means
To some deeper end.

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Regrets Under the Moon

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The lamppost sits at the end of the driveway,
And I sit atop it, like the hand of a clock
Turning to an inner rhyme to the right
The staring out into the depths of the night

The singular glow of the moon up above
As clouds float by in a mysterious glow
Billows of breath appear, only to dissipate
Into the sheer air, into another state

Funny that I should consider dancing at this moment
To be a particularly reasonable request
But with the moon as a spotlight, why not?

I stop at the brink of closing my eyes,
For closing promises rest, and with rest
A chance to forget
But this time I hesitate,
For tonight is one night I would not regret

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Two Paths

-----------------

I used to boast
When I was younger
That I would rather die an early death
Then see that startling eclipse
Of my waning life against the horizon

I used to think
In single words too
Like "food" and "milk" and "mother, please"
For I was just as foolish then
As I was when I said
It would be better to die an early death
Then to see that startling eclipse
Of my waning life against the horizon

But now I am with you,
And I can see that each moment is as precious
As a single drop of resurrection
In a thousand mile desert
I see now that each second is wasted
If not spent in proper recompense
For the great joy of having existed

I see now that there are two roads I will have walked in this life
The first jagged and boken, and run down, and a lonely road indeed
And another full of the light that can only be described as heaven on earth
For that road is the one spent with you

Thus, two paths I have come across
And I have chosen the latter
To be spent with you, with your hands one with mine
Your mind one with mine
Your spirit, and mine

And as we walk upon this splendid path,
I look back at my past and laugh softly
That In my foolishness I once believed
It would be better to die an early death
Then to see that startling eclipse
of my waning life against the horizon

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Cold

"Cold"

--------------

I can feel the cold

Just under my skin

As it’s always settled

No matter how much I try to lose it,

It’s still with me

Marking my way

The wind moves ahead of me,

Past me,

Leaving me steadily in its wake

I see leaves caught in its trail

And friends too

Speeding off into the distance

I wonder where I am

The cold and the chill I can never leave

The wind passing ahead, leaving my behind

Never leaving but always left standing

Where I’ve always stood

Maybe I can stay here for a while,

Soaking in the sunlight

And even if I can’t feel its rays

Perhaps it’s enough to say

That I know what warmth is.

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I'm learning to be a little more resilient

A little less careful when it comes to my heart

A little more hopeful in the face of uncertainty

I'm learning, step by step, to put a smile on

Even when I'd rather hide it away

I'm learning and living, and learning to live

The way I was meant to

Slowly

I became who I was meant to be

I'm becoming a little bit more confident,

And even though I still have questions,

I'm learning to trust,

that there will always be time to answer them later

And that for now,

I can take a step forward,

Without looking back first

You see,

It becomes easier to see

once the dark has finally faded

And there's a light before you again

Lighting the way back onto the path

you were always meant to walk

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